Camper Van to Middle Earth

Monday, Jan. 11, 1010. 3:49 PM
Queenstown, New Zealand

Happy Two Thousand Ten! Can I really have been here for a month already, and NO updates from me?! Sorry to slack-off, but I had no idea how off the grid I would be here. Funny how it’s actually a very westernized country, clean, a bit fancy, expensive. But how Country it is… once you’re out of the city (and there’s only a handful of them in the whole place), the cellphone goes No Service, and it’s just you and the Gargantuan Everything. (On the horizon from this hilltop is the “Sleeping Giant” :)

After leaving Auckland I had about 12 days to get myself to the South Island (by train & ferry), and shop around Christchurch to purchase a camper van, my first car, before my friend Telah would be arriving. I decided after some advice from experienced NZ travelers that this would be the best way to get around with a non-cycling travel partner. So I took a chance, found a cute German couple selling a charming ‘93 Mazda Bongo with 274,000 Km on the odometer and a comfy bed in the back, complete with bins for supplies and a butane stove, and bought it on sight. This whole scenario marks a radical departure from my cycling and occasional bus-taking ways, mainly as I’m now a regular petrol-guzzler like the rest of ‘em. Besides this one stipulation, I’m actually more off the grid and farther from the consumer trail than I’ve been so far, which I can attribute to the freedom of my home on wheels.

We prepare all our own meals, and I’m lucky to have a bona fide health-food chef as a sidekick. (We’re so healthy!) We camp anywhere we want, in the van or in my roomy 3-person tent, and it’s been a lovely process to learn how easy, accessible, and rewarding the options are. New Zealand is a natural wonder, and the tourism here is built upon mainly this. Therefore, they make it incredibly easy to camp, hike, swim, and so much more, virtually anywhere you want. For a wild place, it’s perfectly inhabitable, the grasses and bush soft to the touch, countless streams everywhere light blue and shallow enough to wade into, the bio-diversity and aesthetic appeal jaw-dropping, and the people and government that made it all possible really nice and welcoming. The best part is it’s all pretty much FREE, so our only expenses are for fuel and groceries. There are even spotless public toilets, tourist information offices, recycling stations, and places to fill-up on clean drinking water at most convenient places. Almost every day I wonder How is this so nice and easy, and Why am I used to everything being so darned difficult?

I’ve been roughing it in terms of my flash-packer ways, meaning my geeking has been minimal. I haven’t plugged-into an AC outlet in 3 weeks, until I found a restaurant which let me recharge my batteries which power my portable speakers and LED christmas lights. I also haven’t even turned on my computer until now, as I knew I’d only get a blog’s worth of battery before my Macbook would be left cold and dead without juice. I haven’t been online at all, except when we passed through Greymouth and stopped in the library for 20 min of free wifi (which I used to call my Mom after learning from my first email check in weeks that my Grandma Joan had passed away on New Year’s Eve). Besides this limited connectivity, I haven’t missed the Matrix at all.

Here’s our typical day lately: Waking-up in a beautiful place with nobody around, boiling water on the stove or camp fire to make coffee in the french press, washing-up in a stream, eating muesli topped with fruits and nuts, toasting some crumpets with jam and olive oil butter. AM rituals complete, we’ll drive for an hour or two, invariably stopping 3 or 4 times to marvel at ridiculous landscapes, to scramble up a soft and fuzzy hill, or pick up some more farm-fresh produce and to sample some local honey or wine at a vineyard. We’ll arrive at the National Park or Reserve, pop into the regional info center for some hike suggestions, and make some soup and sandwich for lunch before heading-off on an uphill scramble, a walk through the forest, to a waterfall or panoramic view. Head back for tea time, drive another hour and find camp. Crack open a bottle of the local Pinot and make dinner, do yoga, read the book, pet the horses, laugh at the cute sheep, and weather-permitting, star-gaze until bedtime.

It’s a perfect place for those of any attention span, as the landscape drastically changes on average every 30 minutes of driving. Desert hills, snow-capped mountains and glaciers, impossibly giant lakes of turquoise blue, pine or rain forest, Giant trees, tropical and sub- alpine mixed, and sunsets so dramatic that to look-away for a minute you won’t recognize it any more. The days are long… darkness finally falling around 10:30PM.

I was a bit worried that taking a road-trip for 6 weeks might spoil my desire to cycle after Telah sets-off back to New York. And I must say that after the first week in the van I had my doubts, noticing the overwhelming lack of shoulder-room on the two-lane highways. But since then I’ve fallen for the solitude of the nearly empty roads and their surrounding landscapes, and I look forward to finding B-routes between my destinations and discovering my own little camps to call home for a night. The weather is downright challenging: the sun is more intense than anywhere else, and it’s cold at night. Chances are I’ll have to contend with strong headwinds and getting “pissed on” almost daily (it rains a lot). It’s prohibitively expensive to eat out, and the food is nothing to write home about, so I’ll be packing a lot of supplies along. It’s going to be a trial. But I’m wowed enough to want it. And besides, after March it’ll be (very) cold again, so I must take advantage of the short time I have. I don’t see myself staying long into the winter, but I’ll head up to the North Island mid-February and see what I can see.

Telah’s back from her hike so I’m off to tea! Love and lightness, AP

Trainspotting

Thursday, December 17, 8:07 AM
Auckland, New Zealand

Settled into my comfy seat on the Overlander train, I have a 12-hour scenic ride in swank (but slow) panoramic railcar that’s all windows. Starting near the top of the North island and needing to get halfway down the South Island, I was reluctant to choose this option, principally because it is so scenic and I will cover so much ground. As I’ve got up to a year to “see” the country by bicycle, I wondered whether the train would be a spoiler. All things considered, though, I decided this would be an amazing introduction to whet my whistle. (I have an odd habit of hoarding and saving things away for a later time… but recently in my effort to ‘lighten’ my load during these travels, my new MO is to use it all, enjoy it, splurge, be generous and give it all away, and asap! After all, there’s plenty of time to fill-in the gaps!

I’m quite set up on this little train… Front (outside) viewing platform, rear panoramic car (limited to 25min/pp at a time), and a proper dining cart (licensed for spirits!) A friendly guide chimes-in periodically over the loudspeaker to narrate our journey, providing facts & info. (NZ dairy farming accounts for 1/5 of the GNP.)

_ YUPI!!! I just saw my first flock of SHEEP!! They’re wonderful!! I wasn’t prepared for this… now I am truly excited! 30 minutes out of Auckland and it is indeed another world, of animals, endless rolling hills – ooooooh a mile-long hydroponic greenhouse! – little red farm houses, horses, and cattle. Fun fun fun!

3 hours of sleep (2am-5am), a carafe of coffee and little breakfast, and typing on a gently bouncing tray table have rendered me nauseous. So that’s all for now.

Sheep Nightmare Theater

Thursday, December 10, 1:36 AM
Auckland, New Zealand

It’s hard to imagine being in Cambodia right now that I’m having completely new and different couchsurfing adventures in the Land of Sheep. I’m tucked beneath a soft fluffy comforter on a real mattress I just realized, with a cup of Sleepy tea at hand, and father Christmas holding two tiny Christmas trees on my nightstand. I just arrived on a trio of flights from Bangkok to Hong Hong, to Sydney then Auckland, finally received and whisked away to my own private cottage in the garden of my lovely host, Chris. I have a feeling that the gritty truth of the developing world will not again soon be appearing in these here reports. (Although I’m not yet done singing my love for Laos…)

Chris, my Couchsurfing host, took me sightseeing at 1:30AM on the way back from the airport! Auckland's Sky Tower as seen from over the harbor (top), and the Fairy Shoppe! (He saw my FairyCon pic on Couchsurfing :)

I haven’t had a proper night’s rest for days, but before I drift off to a land of bounding fluffsters, which may for the last time be the stuff of pure fantasy, a magical fictional landscape that my unschooled mind conjured up, visions not yet contaminated with actual input from my living senses, eyes, ears and nose…

It’s nice to be snuggled up with two cute stuffed animal sheep, one more anatomically interesting than most that I’ve seen, sitting in an upright Shear Me position. It feels a bit like home. I knew I would like Chris as soon as we started emailing, like when he was teasing me about my Couchsurfing profile photo…

OK POLICANO, i will meet you at midnight at the airport, and if you are still looking smashed trashed and fucked, like your photo, i will recognise you instantly.

After the initial comment I decided my year-old profile photo could use an update, so I uploaded some new ones. And a week later i got:

Hi Anthony, i miss your emails, and your doe eyed photo.

So I told him I updated it since he told me I looked so f’d. And then:

hi policano, YES aNTHONY YOU DID LOOK OUT OF IT, LIKE A USED PIECE OF SPENT SPACE TRASH ! I personally liked the look, especially when you emailed so eloquently, the contrast was dramatic and exciting, WHO IS THIS MYSTERY MAN, POLICANO.

So everything was set, and then he emailed with important requests:

2 important questions.
REALLY FUKKIN IMPORTANT….OK !
VIP GUESTS, get to choose how their cabin is decorated ….by colour or by theme, go hard Policano, challenge me to meet your fantasy!
The other, will you buy me some duty free booze from the Nz airport on arrival.
You are permitted 3 bottles of spirits… ( big deal ) 1 BOTTLE OF WHAT YOU LIKE TO GET POSSED ON, and 2 for me hahaha (i get the better deal) …

So I gave him SHEEP NIGHTMARE, Bacardi, Jose Cuervo, and Wild Turkey for me. I walk-in and real sheep skins lead a trail to my bed, a dark fluffy grey (fake wool, phew!) comforter with strange sheep on it waiting to greet me, and a DVD of Black Sheep (the Zombie Sheep horror comedy out of New Zealand) out on my dresser. Also exceedingly thoughtful, Chris prepared food for my arrival! Piping hot, a crock pot full of a tasty mushrooms and tomatoes in red wine sauce welcomed me… also 2 other dishes (chicken liver pate and a steak dish, but his intuition that I might require a 3rd veggie dish was right!)

Chris the Crazy Cook!

I’m happy as a sheep in a grassy field. Tomorrow we might go look at cars. (Yes, I’m considering buying one for the next month or two, to get the most out of my next adventure in which my lady-friend Telah from NY and I will bounce from Rainbow gathering to kiwiBurn and to much Tramping and Camping (on the wilder South Island) in between. He already scoped out a couple sweet rides for $2-3000NZ, which he might buy back from me when I’m done. But there’s much to be seen (and a great used car scene from what I hear to exploooore!)

I’m also happy to report that I didn’t get screwed for bringing an excess of 20kg baggage on my flights! They tried to pin a $700US penalty on me but I held out & made it out scott-free. The universe is smiling on me today, indeed. Which reminds me, so was the Milky Way galaxy, and the moon-rise tonight… Stunning country, I can feel it already!

Land of a Million Saibaidee’s

Wednesday, December 9, 5:03 PM
playing Lao catch-up in the Sydney airport, Australia

The people of Laos are so friendly. Everywhere I went, biking or walking, folks would say Hi. And not in the annoying way they did in India, where every man on the street, most of the time without even making any eye contact, would shout “Hello my friend! Where are you from? What is your name?” (You can probably sense my lasting sensitivity to it, being as it happened hundreds of times every day and I quickly grew tired of it.) In Laos, it also happened a million times, but I liked it. Slowly pedaling away up through countless hilltribe villages, I would always have enough breath to reciprocate felicitations with many people all the way. They weren’t soliciting for information, or trying to butter me up or ransack my wallet… they were just saying Hi, and with Big smiles. Everybody is amazing when they smile. Like a tenderized piece of meat, I grew quite accustomed to making friendly with everyone. It was sooo cute.

Of course, I had sa-bai-dee’s with the children. Like packs of pants-less jellybeans, they would bound from their homes, waving frenetically, chasing me down the street. It was adorable how, especially with the little ones, our exchange would always set them running! I sa-bai-dee’d with school kids, K-12, who in groups never turned tough on me, which I found totally confounding. No snide remarks amongst themselves, masking the insecurities of youth? Come to think of it, Laos kids never acted “Cool”… they just were. Schoolgirls would of course (after a slight hesitation) sa-bai-dee too, and would then crack up in giggles. Adults always sa-bai-dee’d, no surprise there, and most of my elders sa-bai-dee’d as well. I loved it with them, as they might draw it waaaay out… Sa-baiiii-deeeeeee!!! (going way up with it at the end.)

This was often the case especially with the really old, leathery-faced women walking in groups from the fields, puffing on their long silver pipes… which reminds me of my mini-soliloquy on GRANDMAS… Not so much as in Nepal, but many a tiny little old lady would be doing her labour, carrying big bundles of wood or chopping away, on the side of the road. Such thin little legs with dark skin hanging loosely, and gnarled old feet with toes spread wide from a lifetime of really using them (in sandals or without), I felt a little bad for them. Sure, they lived with their three generations of offspring who help take care of them, but they weren’t enjoying any retirement either. I imagine my Grandma, taking it easy now, and God Bless Her, for she earned it, spawning her four children and raising still many more little ones from them. Her life’s work is never done, but thank goodness she’s not chopping wood that she just dragged out of the hills.

I was happy that women could extend their greetings at all after seeing the restrictive social codes in place on the other side of the Indian ocean… and also that I got smiles (more power-ups) all day which fortified me with positive energy. Always inspired and grateful for their example, their simple and sincere salutations did much to make me feel welcome in most every town and village, so I never felt alone, or like an outsider, or degraded (as I sometimes do when I’m being objectified as a rich foreigner.)

This is all so amazing to me because people aren’t this friendly where I’m from. Which reminds me of a conversation I had with a Russian guy who was also Couchsurfing at Kay and Luisa’s place in Oudomxay. He was blowing his horn about how he hitchhikes and sleeps in the homes of many village people, how I must try this too… which is fine except his attitude came off very self-righteous. He did say something I liked about Russian people, however, that most are scared to leave their homes, let alone talk to or invite a stranger inside them. This I could understand, as I feel my culture is the same way, and he had a point about the folks out here Not Being Scared. I think he nailed it, why everyone is so cool… they’re just not fearsome. When people inquire about or share that they’re worried about my safety, I’m so happy to report that Home is the scariest place I’ve ever been. Okay, enough for now.

My Calendar

A day in Chiang MY Part 5: MY CALENDAR
(for the curious, the voyeurs, the stalkers, and the haters)

So many things I’m learning, an endless multitude of pretty things, little things, that happen each day that are stretching my world, mind and spirit. I actually write down a short list every day in my calendar of mostly where I’ve been, who I’ve met, and sometimes what induced any strong feelings. Down the line, this skeleton record will make the outlines with which I can re-draw the many beautiful pictures, each worth a thousand words, of these days. (In my case, maybe millions of words per picture!) With the click of a button, I could share this with the world, right here.

Why would I want to? Maybe because I like to share, give all I have, which right now is just Me. Transparency is so attractive to me. I like people who aren’t scared. Maybe it’s because I hunger for connections with people, or because I want you to know who I really am, beyond what you can gather of me through trite conversations that we have in limited moments and with limited technology, so that We can be better. I have a feeling that the meaning of life is to love one another. And how can we love something we don’t really know, or have the time to get to know? Have you ever thought about how little we know about each other, what’s going on with our friends and family, in their heads?

I can think of a bunch of reasons why NOT to share it. I’m not worried about my privacy. Sure, it could lead to issues and judgements. (I write about hot girls & food a lot.) Maybe it’s just putting out TMI. It’s a record for me, but why only me? I wish I knew what YOU were up to!

Another reason to share my calendar might be as simple as to answer the question you might be wondering “what am I doing?” And if you asked me, I wouldn’t know how to begin to answer that. People might look at my vagabonding as a waste. Without a job, it might seem like I’m not doing anything with my life. But I feel the opposite is true. I’ve always felt that with a job, I was never doing anything. I was wasting my life making money. Right now, however, I’m growing. I’m emotional. I’m happy. I’m free. I’m myself. I’m living. I’m lucky. I’m extremely lucky. Kim said it best tonight… “This is my life!”

Wild Birthday

A day in Chiang MY Part 4: WILD B-DAY
(for new age hippies who aren’t afraid to love)

Next we went to Wild Rose Studio and Sauna, a place I’ve heard about so many times and was so happy to finally visit. A fellow I met this morning actually invited me to the Friday night Sauna, and perhaps it was cosmic coincidence again that Azriel also frequented it. We arrived pretty late (10PM) and all the 25 sets of sarongs were taken, but it was no big deal because the scene there was complete without it. It was one of the yoga teacher’s birthday, so 9 of us sat in the beautiful teak yoga studio and celebrated. In exquisite contrast to the usual Friday night and Birthday alternatives, we commemorated the evening with vice-less conversation, sing-along serenades, sharing of chocolate treats, and group activities to smother the lovely Kim Grace with deep affection. I can’t imagine a more perfect and pure way to cherish a birthday person.

The first game went like this… Kim agrees to do deep listening, in which she will take all the words we will say and receive them without interjection, meditating on the sound and her own breath. With eyes closed and wrapped in her blanket (body warmer than usual from the sauna but chilly now in the cool night air), she listened. Like we were composing a birthday card, we told her what we like about her. Individually and collectively, we went for complete meltdown. When it was my turn, everyone laughed because I had known Kim for all of 5 minutes before we started this, but I too had something honest to say, based on my first encounter and from what I could gather from her friends and her energy in that moment. She was speechless, trembling and only able to say Wow and giggle. Azriel sang the most beautiful song. Niceties ensued, and Kim couldn’t underscore how powerful it was to combine meditation, her breath, the sounds of caring words and loving energy focused on her. It was time for another game. Kim was blindfolded and told to lay down on the floor. Beginning like “light as a feather…” we lifted her up into the air, then walked around the room, levitated her up and down, then undulated her. After five minutes of this (and in complete silence) we placed her down, and tapped her skin like as if we were typing. Then we held our fingers on her for a while, slowly took them away, but held them an inch away, letting the energy keep flowing (and boy did I feel it!), then pulled away. She totally freaked out, in the best way possible. We all got mad hugs and it was simply beautiful.

A note on family. I’ve always said that family are the people you choose to be around. When I heard of Wild Rose, everyone said the Energy was amazing. And today I met Rose, the woman who runs the place. I actually saw her this afternoon at lunch, and she had amazing energy. Anyway, one of the things I said about Kim during the oral birthday card is that I walked in, right past her, and from across the room her radiant eyes found me and initiated warm warm introductions and Welcomes. I immediately felt at ease, comfortable among these 15 strangers. Wild Rose is a family, and they’re not connected by merely by work, or yoga. Millions of people work and exercise together without ever forming any real bonds with each other. The like-spirited are drawn to Rose’s creation, and if they like it, they stick around. They are open and welcoming, an I’d love to embody that intense open love someday. Is it weird that Kim celebrated her birthday with me? Not at all! Because if I continued to come back, (and they were all like Awwwww when I told them I was leaving tomorrow), I would be part of the family too.

I was invited to tomorrow night’s Kirtan, but alas I will be on a night bus speeding into the beyond by that hour. I am happy however that I’m actually open to the singing and chanting. (And I might as well get used to it, as I’m heading to the World Rainbow Gathering in New Zealand, which starts in only 10 days!) All this exploring of diverse cultures (and inextricably religion as well) can’t be meaningful as a voyeur, which is why it’s so important to stay and learn as much about it from the locals and families who ARE these cultures as possible. I see it as an opportunity to synthesize all these tastes and impressions into an personal experience, and it’s too bad I can’t hang around longer.

I could blab on forever.

Shabbat with Azriel

A day in Chiang MY Part 3: SHABBAT WITH AZRIEL
(In case you care about what I did for dinner tonight)

I hung out with some sweet people tonight. Two nights ago, at one of my favorite cheap vegetarian restaurants where I was enjoying a 100% veg. noodle soup, I met a guy named Azriel. We got to talking about how a sustainable lifestyle and technology go hand-in-hand, and decided to move-on to another spot so I could help him with some Mac stuff & talk some more about eco-villages. 1AM later, we had put in 6 hours! (I did this last week too in Chiang Rai, after chatting up a fellow who had a 3-week new first Mac, I decided to stay another day so we could have a geek session, which went swimmingly and was totally worth it, like I have anything better to be doing!) In both cases, I think I made life-long friends.

Tonight he invited me over for a Shabbat pot-luck at this apartment, a small gathering of just seven, and it was great, especially the warm feeling of community Azriel forged. Also this sweet potato/pumpkin dessert I brought with sticky rice and coconut milk was to die for. And the best part of it was that it was all vegan and cheap, as the restaurant gave me so much of it (closing time special) for only 25 baht ($.70!) I LOVE THAILAND! Don’t get me started about getting hooked-up at the veggie restaurants. (It happens every time, and I largely suspect it’s because the Veg Community are an especially awesome segment of humanity, much like the Mac Community is especially awesome (in general, with exceptions of course) but they never writes viruses! Take that, PC community!

Our dinner host has this tradition of Friday night Shabbat here in Chiang Mai since he arrived 16 months ago, one of his pot-lucks drawing 72 people from 17 countries (and 5 religions too, including 4 Buddhist monks from Cambodia!) Before eating, we said some short Jewish prayers, but more importantly we shared stories with each other that reflected the theme of one prayer, in which, according to a certain Rabbi, real entities (Angels) are said to come join the Shabbat upon the singing of the traditional verses, and that We were, in effect, angels too who had come (as many important biblical figures weren’t even aware that they were indeed sent by God to fulfill a divine purpose), and he prompted us to share Who was your angel in this week? Everyone’s unhurried anecdotes were touching and grounding, of everyday kindness, echoing how we are touched by so many people. Azriel thanked ME for appearing to him in the evening of a day where nothing was going right, to help him through computer issues he’s been grappling with for months. (He was so appreciative at the time, buying me drinks and dessert at A Taste of Heaven, veggie spot Deluxe!) At my turn, I thanked HIM for providing me some community, real people outside of the backpacker ghettos, tourist bars and markets, when it seemed I could use it the most, experiencing for the last day or so that familiar irony of feeling alone in a city with so many people, (also due in part to staying in a guest house for once instead of with a host.) I’m also extremely grateful for him rekindling my interest in volunteering on Eco-villages, as I’ve discerned already that these villages have been the best and most relevant to my interests, going beyond organic farming and really embracing permaculture and green technology. He’s lived on many such farms, taken courses, and knows a lot of people who run them. This was coming to me cosmically, having had two other connections with people in the last 48 hours regarding eco-villages: my Jungle Flight partner Steve who recommended Cinderland in Hawaii, and a Couchsurfer I’ve been conversing with who is currently taking a Permaculture Design Course near Chiang Mai. The sudden clarity in direction is a gift indeed.

Chiang Mai Zoo

A day in Chiang MY Part 2: CHIANG MAI ZOO
(for you animal lovers…)

Today started like many before it: I slept till 11, went across the street for amazing veg. food (at one of my favorite FIVE veggie spots that I know about so far) including hill tribe coffee and a vegan cinnamon bun (by Joel’s suggestion & request for me to bring him as many as I can carry to Bangkok COD) which was divine. Then I biked around town, somewhat aimlessly, towards another town some 20km NW of town called Doi Suthep. It’s SO FUN to have a bike wherever I go, as I can explore far, wide, and throughly. Not only am I getting to know my way around this city pretty well by now, which actually is an accomplishment given there are hundreds of tiny winding streets as old as Thailand itself, but I can leave town and get into other uncharted neighborhoods. No plans, no playing tourist at the mercy of the Lonely Planet and tuk-tuk drivers, no money necessary. Anyway, I met a cyclist just outside the Zoo 5km beyond town and he told me he was headed to Doi Suthep too, 15km uphill from here. So I ducked into the Zoo. (Sure, it could have been nice to have a 15km ride down back into town, but I had better things to do with my precious daylight hours today!)

the 3 hippos were so big and cute (and piggie-like)

The Zoo was cool. I love animals, and I enjoy visiting zoos far and wide, controversial as it may be. I’m always just happy to see these precious creatures at all, watching, talking, and laughing with them, while getting to check-out their digs. I think you can learn a lot about people, as a culture, by how they treat their animals. The Chiang Mai zoo was impressive. More like a huge sprawling nature park with bits of Zoo interspersed. (Many of the signed attractions were 1-2km in-between, but there were trams and a monorail for a small price.) It felt like a cross between Central Park and the Botanical Gardens. It was also tastefully designed and decorated to accentuate the natural landscape, with flowers, winding paths, and sculpted elements ala Disney (again!), like fake giant trees to play and check out the views in, or arches that looked like wood but were adorned cool animal formations throughout.

The exhibits themselves were hit or miss. Many of the extravagant animal homes were unoccupied, while others had a modest number of inhabitants (which was surprising and nice in contrast to always seeing zoo animals so packed-in.) There were roughly 10 penguins, 8 mountain sheep, 6 spotted deer, 4 koalas, 3 hippos and giraffes, 2 Asiatic black bears, and a partridge in a pear tree. Another modest thing was that admission was a mere 100 baht ($3), and parking 1 baht (3 cents) for bikes. (50 for cars, suckers!) Some special exhibits cost extra… for example I paid another 100 baht to see Giant Pandas, but consistent with their theme of modest extravagance, there was only 1 small family of pandas living in the Snow Dome, of which I saw the dad (well, his butt actually, with his head in a hole). The mom and her new baby “Lin Ping” are only on display for one hour in the morning each day, but there was a panda cam in their absence (still cute, but ridiculous to pay extra for.)

One funny surprise was the Jungle Shooting Range on one end of the park, where you could tote actual handguns and large firearms, shooting at who-knows-what. (wth?) All in all it was good fun, a nice place to relax and take a long walk… haha I was following the signs to the Koalas (remember I said some things were kilometers away) when a lady walking behind me said to her girlfriends “It’s like that short walk in the refugee camp.” I was muffling my laughter for a while.

there was a 7-Eleven in the Zoo! | a male peacock showed me his hind-feathers

Happy Birthday, Your Highness!

Friday, December 6, 12:37 AM
Chiang Mai, Thailand

A day in Chiang MY Part 1: HAPPY BDAY YOUR MAJESTY!
(for the loyal and reverent, who still read this sappy dribble)

I officially love Chiang Mai. It’s now my fifth time passing through here, and it just gets better every time. I didn’t even plan to stay here this time, but I passed through on my way back down to Bangkok from Laos, got smitten all over again and sucked in, so I postponed my onward bus ticket until the latest possible one that’ll get me into Bangkok with enough time to pack up my bike in a box for my flight to New Zealand on Tuesday. I’m here again because it’s the largest city in the north, a hub for exploring all things up here, but it’s also officially the crown jewel of the North, a gorgeous city, big and small enough to have it all, so it’s always a pleasure. Long story short, I feel like I could live here. There, I said it.

As usual, since I’m too long-winded, I can’t write about anything but today, which was magical. Oh, and speaking of Today, it’s the Kings Birthday! Happy Birthday, King Bhumibol Adulyadej! He’s 82, and still the longest reigning monarch in the country’s history. There was a big parade in Bangkok last night, all lit-up with floats of a million LEDs, the likes of which Disney would give their big white-gloved thumbs-up of approval to. I was playing ping-pong in a guesthouse foyer with some kids and they put it on the TV. Tomorrow, in honor of his majesty, there will be a huge food fest, giving of alms at the temples to pray for his lasting health and happiness, a candlelit procession by the main gate of the moat-surrounded inner Chiang Mai town, in addition to the lady at my favorite vegetarian restaurant serving completely free food all day. I’m excited to have the opportunity of celebrating him on my last day in town.

The King and my Green Monster

Parade floats painted the Bangkok streets with illuminated splendour

Dogs, Cats & Foul Play

The dogs don’t bark in Laos. In a month, only one dog barked at me, and it was my last night, in the border town of Huay Xai. I was walking with some friends to a dinner party down the street and this unruly fellow was barking, hi how ya doing?! And I thought to myself, who is this boisterous dog? Then, again, on the way home the loudmouth was hollering, woof woof woof, woofing us all the way down the street. So I snap “You know, you’re the only dog in Laos who barks at people! Put a lid on it!” Mi amigos laughed because it’s so true, and I was serious! (My suspicion is that he’s a Thai dog who was on the wrong side of the Mekong.)

Besides this misguided one, the Lao dogs were so sweet. Trotting along beside you, laying in the road, a little sniff sniff, looking at you without pleading or confrontation. In groups, they played a lot, like pups. Most of the time though, I saw them lying in the shade being lazy, lying on their side, with all four legs out. The typical Lao mutt generally has a healthy-looking reddish brown coat, a husky-look, with fox-like ears and shorter than average legs. Even at night, walking along village streets, they didn’t bark at me. I never saw any Lao people beat their dogs (which is unique out here), and i conjecture that they’re just softies, without fear or aggressive complexes due to mistreatment. I bet they eat well, as most Lao seem to have plenty of sticky rice and bbq meat to go around. Happy dogs, happy cyclist!

riverside cow parade in Vang Vieng

I didn’t see many cats, but those that I did fell into two categories: the wild ones, and the house-cats. I’m sure most of ‘em had a place to call home, but the ones I saw outside had such smug little wild looks! Such pusses, with their grey and black striped markings and long squinting, almost sneering eyes. (Don’t look at me, Meeeeorrrrrw!) Weird. The few cats I saw indoors were plump, furry, and rolled around and tackled each other like kittens, sometimes right in front of me on the restaurant table. None of the humans seemed to mind.

Which reminds me of another thing I always found so cute… hearing people Sssssssst! away the animals, usually ducks, or pigs. Remarkably, a vast majority of the livestock were free range. So they were getting into everything, in the shops, munching on produce when people weren’t looking, crossing the road, checking me out. So big pigs lied about with their piglets scurrying around adorably, usually within oinks-distance of momma. Ducks waddled across the street, adding to the traffic of whom the oblivious dogs, without a care in the world, comprised the majority. Cows fed along the road, on the river banks, and in the corn and rice fields. Roosters, chickens, turkeys, and their chicks could be found in every yard, tweeting, clucking, and chattering (from well before sunrise) until sunset, to keep together I guess? I think it’s funny how I describe everyone in the road, cuz that’s where I was most of the time, as endless farm land surrounded me always. But they were often in the road, where all the action (and trash) is, lucky for me!

Another priceless aspect of everyday life was people poking around in your yard, so you see some kid outside your kitchen window in the garden, and you ask him what’s up and he’s looking for his chicken. And there he is! Next he’s taking off back home with the bird under his arm like he’s making a touchdown run. I saw this ALL the time, always some kid or boy or man making a mad dash with his chicken. So funny.

little animals w beerlao

It’s too bad that vegetarianism is virtually non-existent in Laos, but at least the animals get to lead care-free, natural lives until their untimely fates. Another sad thing is that some of these happy dogs end up on the dinner table. Yep, they eat dog (in all the SE Asian countries). I saw one in the market on the butcher block, and it freaked me out on par with seeing the barbecued turtle in Cambodia. But that’s life in the animal kingdom, I suppose. It actually got me thinking… Every week thousands of dogs are euthanized in the USA. It’s so sad, so many would-be best friends going into the gas chamber or lethally injected, and then what? Maybe they’re buried, or more likely they’re burned. What a waste. (The real problem is the pet industry, and all the nitwit people who lose-interest, neglect, and discard animals without the respect and right to life that an earthly-being deserves… but that’s another topic altogether.) Anyway, the Asians EAT them. We just throw them away. That’s food for thought.

On that note, love thy animals, and please take a moment to consider their journey in this world to your dinner plate (or to your local pound). It’s not all bad, but much of it is, and it’s easy to stop the suffering by being accountable for your choices and consumption. Or you can just say No to reduce and eliminate your demand on the system.

i especially loved @zackkahn's thanksgiving tweet: shit, i'm just thankful i'm not a turkey

i went to a fish bbq in Oudomxay. was kinda cool how they just netted some fish in the pond & roasted them up. and in a banana leaf bundle (fg) are fish eggs. interesting to me that I won't partake in caviar, even though I eat chicken eggs. (i have some double-standards!) it was a nice party for all (except the fish ;) btw, i'm still an ovo-lacto vegetarian, but i've kissed fish goodbye from my diet for now. since i saw the turtle on the barbie, i've had more empathy for all my aquatic friends.

a little piggy joined us! he kept munching out of the fish food bag, soliciting some Ssssst!'s in the process