Sheep Nightmare Theater

Thursday, December 10, 1:36 AM
Auckland, New Zealand

It’s hard to imagine being in Cambodia right now that I’m having completely new and different couchsurfing adventures in the Land of Sheep. I’m tucked beneath a soft fluffy comforter on a real mattress I just realized, with a cup of Sleepy tea at hand, and father Christmas holding two tiny Christmas trees on my nightstand. I just arrived on a trio of flights from Bangkok to Hong Hong, to Sydney then Auckland, finally received and whisked away to my own private cottage in the garden of my lovely host, Chris. I have a feeling that the gritty truth of the developing world will not again soon be appearing in these here reports. (Although I’m not yet done singing my love for Laos…)

Chris, my Couchsurfing host, took me sightseeing at 1:30AM on the way back from the airport! Auckland's Sky Tower as seen from over the harbor (top), and the Fairy Shoppe! (He saw my FairyCon pic on Couchsurfing :)

I haven’t had a proper night’s rest for days, but before I drift off to a land of bounding fluffsters, which may for the last time be the stuff of pure fantasy, a magical fictional landscape that my unschooled mind conjured up, visions not yet contaminated with actual input from my living senses, eyes, ears and nose…

It’s nice to be snuggled up with two cute stuffed animal sheep, one more anatomically interesting than most that I’ve seen, sitting in an upright Shear Me position. It feels a bit like home. I knew I would like Chris as soon as we started emailing, like when he was teasing me about my Couchsurfing profile photo…

OK POLICANO, i will meet you at midnight at the airport, and if you are still looking smashed trashed and fucked, like your photo, i will recognise you instantly.

After the initial comment I decided my year-old profile photo could use an update, so I uploaded some new ones. And a week later i got:

Hi Anthony, i miss your emails, and your doe eyed photo.

So I told him I updated it since he told me I looked so f’d. And then:

hi policano, YES aNTHONY YOU DID LOOK OUT OF IT, LIKE A USED PIECE OF SPENT SPACE TRASH ! I personally liked the look, especially when you emailed so eloquently, the contrast was dramatic and exciting, WHO IS THIS MYSTERY MAN, POLICANO.

So everything was set, and then he emailed with important requests:

2 important questions.
REALLY FUKKIN IMPORTANT….OK !
VIP GUESTS, get to choose how their cabin is decorated ….by colour or by theme, go hard Policano, challenge me to meet your fantasy!
The other, will you buy me some duty free booze from the Nz airport on arrival.
You are permitted 3 bottles of spirits… ( big deal ) 1 BOTTLE OF WHAT YOU LIKE TO GET POSSED ON, and 2 for me hahaha (i get the better deal) …

So I gave him SHEEP NIGHTMARE, Bacardi, Jose Cuervo, and Wild Turkey for me. I walk-in and real sheep skins lead a trail to my bed, a dark fluffy grey (fake wool, phew!) comforter with strange sheep on it waiting to greet me, and a DVD of Black Sheep (the Zombie Sheep horror comedy out of New Zealand) out on my dresser. Also exceedingly thoughtful, Chris prepared food for my arrival! Piping hot, a crock pot full of a tasty mushrooms and tomatoes in red wine sauce welcomed me… also 2 other dishes (chicken liver pate and a steak dish, but his intuition that I might require a 3rd veggie dish was right!)

Chris the Crazy Cook!

I’m happy as a sheep in a grassy field. Tomorrow we might go look at cars. (Yes, I’m considering buying one for the next month or two, to get the most out of my next adventure in which my lady-friend Telah from NY and I will bounce from Rainbow gathering to kiwiBurn and to much Tramping and Camping (on the wilder South Island) in between. He already scoped out a couple sweet rides for $2-3000NZ, which he might buy back from me when I’m done. But there’s much to be seen (and a great used car scene from what I hear to exploooore!)

I’m also happy to report that I didn’t get screwed for bringing an excess of 20kg baggage on my flights! They tried to pin a $700US penalty on me but I held out & made it out scott-free. The universe is smiling on me today, indeed. Which reminds me, so was the Milky Way galaxy, and the moon-rise tonight… Stunning country, I can feel it already!

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