Leg 1 to Galapagos
Day 18, day 5 at sea
I’ve been dreaming up a storm these days, and thankfully I’ve been able to remember them long enough to scribble them in my notebook. Keeping a dream diary is a practice that takes some discipline and planning, and I have been doing whatever I can to make it happen, from saying as I close my eyes that I will remember them, and keeping the pen and paper just beside me, ready to go.
I had one about a week ago, two nights before we set sail out of Panama, a nightmare actually. It all started out well enough: the Smashing Pumpkins (original lineup incl. Darcy & James!) were at my inn and were to play a small acoustic show nearby… after they played (a new song!) the inn-keeper (not myself) brought us all out some food.. I chose a bite from the colorful dish of what resembled a tiny tail, and although it was quite tasty, I then noticed the familiar designs of Axl’s shell filling the plate! I ran off crying.
While I hate to repeat this subconscious episode into the universe, I could see it clearly as a message from my heart, commenting on my upcoming dilemma which I was soon to face: to eat fish or not to eat fish during this journey across the sea. I’ve batted the idea around with an open mind for the previous months, and decided to let my heart decide when the time comes.
The horror of my dream reminded me quite obviously how I feel about this, and set me straight. I came here to learn to sail, not to become hunter and killer of sea life. I’ve for a long time considered myself illuminated enough to live my life exactly as I wish to, given the enormous gift of Free Will that I am blessed with. We have provisioned well, and I have more than enough food to eat, so by all means I don’t need anything more to survive, nor do I want it.
Yesterday, I woke with the question on my mind: which wild encounter will grace us today? I had a moment of pity for my fellow seamen, who have been trying for three days to catch some fish to eat, three lines out at all hours, to no avail. I silently put my mind to helping them out, visualizing a bite for them. I kid you not, within 15 minutes one of the reels spun wildly out of control, and getting tangled on itself the line seized-up, and that was the end of that. I must admit, for the moment I too was quite excited at this break in the monotony on this front, but I sighed relief when the poor fish got away.
Being a bit rascally, I imagined more fish nibbling on the lines of my comrades, and within moments Spencer called from the front that a big fish had just jumped in front of the boat! A good omen for my crew-mates. A bit selfishly perhaps, I told Jacek that I had been helping the cause through my intentions of visualization and manifestation for their benefit, and in light of my well-known vegan status on the boat, he questioned “but aren’t you opposed to our fishing?” I told him I felt bad for them, and wanted to help give them confidence, although truly I was rooting for the fish of course.
Our conversation turned me around through, when I realized I have to be responsible for my actions, and use any powers that I may have for Good. So I restrained my imaginings further, and since then (two days ago) we’ve had no signs of any fish. Smile.